Advertising policy

Okay enough is enough. I’m going commercial. That’s right, I’m allowing people to advertise on my blog!

Here’s the rules;

1. Normal blogospheric chat, i.e. on-topic, non-commercial, non-automated comments made on this blog do not attract a fee.

2. Within these terms, “commercial” is also considered to include any automated comment posts by mono-sectarian religious lobbies that accumulate wealth, or posts by those with enough wealth, and thus time to attempt to circumvent my comments policy, specifically bans. “Commercial” in this context also includes posts by agencies of Governments that don’t have a strict separation of Church and State as well as conservative political parties/candidates; these lots are in the business of selling out to the lowest common denominator after all!

3. Where 2 conflicts with 1, contradiction is resolved by the assumption that the party posting is abnormal in their blogospheric presence. “Normality” not being the same as the APA’s 2% in this context, rather “normal” meaning something like “not as unique as Prodos“.

4. Material rated at above what would generally gain an M rating in Australia will be deleted at no charge.

5. Intention to purchase advertising space can only be obtained by posting the advert into a comments thread; emailing me with requests is just too much trouble for me to go to for anyone other than those whom I usually am willing to help out for free (whom I will continue to blog for free for).

6. Automated, unsolicited advertising is considered to signal affirmation of an advertising contract. I didn’t solicit it and hence take no responsibility for preventing it from being posted on my blog by parties other than myself. Don’t want to pay to advertise here? Then don’t advertise here! I don’t need your money!

7. Units of time sold only exist in one purchase size known as t. Where t = the amount of time between when it is posted and when I delete it.

8. One unit of time’s worth of advertising attracts a fee calculated with the formula;

(|I₁|+|I₂|+…|I_n|) x^y

Where I is the given gross income earned by the advertiser in a given year (or if n=1, at least an estimate), n is the iteration of each financial year since the advertiser became a financial entity (rounded up to the nearest whole year), x is the width of the Sun (measured in nanometers) at the time of posting and y is the scientifically speculated approximate number of positrons that exist within an arbitrarily selected hypothetical second of an arbitrarily selected star, where the CNO cycle generates most of the star’s energy (ie a very large star).

9. While I am being a tad silly with this policy, I am only being semi-facetious. While in practice I don’t expect to actually invoke this policy, I do reserve the right to invoke it. Who knows, maybe one day a subsidiary of PBL will post an unsolicited piece of spam in my comments and they’ll have to pay me several times the GDP of the planet Earth.

I realise that these are rather unattractive terms, but hey, I’m not making people advertise here and let’s face it, I’m not about to whore out my blog for chump change.

~ Bruce