World going to end? Do I look worried?

I’m going to take a quick break from my hiatus to post about something very immediate.

The Large Hadron Collider is about to be fired up.

First, the speculations about black holes are derived from some pretty marginal, and untested theories. Interesting mathematics perhaps, but then you can do a lot to entertain with purely theoretical physics.

Secondly, the supposed black holes are micro-black holes. Very small. So small, that the minimal amount of energy that black holes lose via hawking radiation is enough to snuff them out before they even start to gobble up matter.

Thirdly, there are far more energetic particle collisions that have been observed elsewhere in the cosmos without creating cataclysm. Indeed, the Earth’s upper atmosphere regularly plays host to particle collisions far more energetic than the Large Hadron Collider will ever be capable of matching.

For these three reasons, I’m not stressed. If I thought the end was nigh, I’d be living it up. I’d be having sex right now.

Am I having sex right now? No.

I’m sitting here with pieces of notepad all-over the place. Over my desk, on the floor and covering the bookcase and all of these pieces of paper are covered in numbers, squiggly lines and letters from the Greek alphabet.

I’m crunching numbers. Now for some of my fellow geeks, this may be bliss and indeed may be the way to go out if the world is about to end.

Personally, and speaking just for myself, I’d much prefer a blowjob.

But it has to be done, this work of mine. And my deadline, which occurs after the Large Hadron Collider fires up, isn’t going away.

So I’m trudging away at it. Somewhat joylessly and confident that the world isn’t about to end.

Jeremy is on the other hand, in recreational mode and is quite close the the Large Hadron Collider. Should I be wishing him happy fellatio? He is in France after all!

~ Bruce