Unintentionally grandiose

There. That’s the term I’ve been looking for.

Ever since I started this blog, moving over from Blogger and changing the title and tone, there’s something bothered me from time to time.

It used to be “The Thinker’s Podium” – the podium for a single thinker, then “The Thinkers’ Podium” – the podium for thinkers, then just “Thinkers’ Podium”.

It may seem obviously grandiose, while obviously not as grand as the title would imply. Yet there was no intent to actually be grand, nor come across as grand.

The intent, was simply, to imply a place where thoughtful reflection and criticism could take place without a din from the trolls; the “podium” connoting a place where one could speak from without being cut across. “An oasis of clear thinking” to borrow someone else’s mission statement.

This wasn’t the only intent of course. I guess in mixing my message and writing with cross-purposes, I managed to confuse myself if not everyone else. I did include some faux-grandiose trappings, and these were there to bait-and-catch the very trolls, sophists and whatnot that I was supposedly trying to avoid.

A bust of Plato featured in the masthead – a grandiose trapping for sure. But it was a joke (which nobody picked up on); I’m not a Platonist. I had hoped all the references to Popper’s ‘The Open Society and Its Enemies’ (where Plato is given a bollocking) would tip-off the wary, while confirmation bias would catch the members of the peanut gallery.

If this sounds confusing it’s because it is. I’ve been running this blog on WordPress since January 2007 and I’m only just able to get a proper grasp on what it is about this that has bothered me.

Mind you, I never came to the project with the utmost seriousness (even if I was and am still serious about most of what I’ve written about), so it’s not like I was operating to a coherent plan. It’s only during the process that I’ve become more serious about things and with that and some reflection, I’m realising how exactly I’ve goofed – goofed by my own evolving standards.

“Well these things are subjective”, I hear some of you say. “Do what you want”, I’ve been told.

When it comes to tone, and this is largely about tone, this is true. But I care more about tone now than I used to, I think more about it than I used to and what’s more, my writing comes off as having unintended tones when I read it myself. Sure, I’ll do what I want, but when my prose style doesn’t match what I intend, clearly that’s not what I want!

Friendly-punchy-cheeky, sometimes comes across as vitriolic-punchy, even though I don’t write in a vitriolic mood. When I try to channel something akin to the smut-couched-in-decency of Martin Amis, it often comes across more as an out-of-the-blue groin-punch. This probably has more to do with a combination of developing skill and degree of seriousness (not to mention trying to write anything akin to Amis is difficult), but it’s still a bit annoying all the same.

Which brings me back to this very blog that houses my writing. Thinkers’ Podium.

No. I’m not changing the name again even though it is unintentionally grandiose. I think at the very least, it warrants preservation as a signpost in the development of my writing.

Moreover, while I admit error, I’m not expressing regret. I’m not even remorseful. There’s no self-flagellation, I’m not saying sorry for my prose errors and I’m bloody well not saying sorry for being critical of my own writing either!

So where does this leave my writing?

Well, I’m not done with this blog quite yet. This realisation comes towards the end of its run, but it doesn’t spell the end as such. I can see the end approaching and I want to finish things off here with a sense of respect for my own work that comes only with completion.

And perhaps I’ll do it with a grandiose bang!

While things continue here, the successor to this blog will undergo further development (yes, it’s been waiting for a while). This time the project is going to be undertaken with a bit more seriousness. And the tone… rather than unintentionally grandiose, it’ll be intentionally laid back. Cuppa, a biscuit and a chat, premeditated.

But until then, the end is nigh! (That was intentional).

~ Bruce

(Photo Source: Marcus Cyron)

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